What Is Trypanophobia?
The name combines the Greek term Trypano meaning “puncturing” or “piercing” with phobia, meaning “fear.” It is an irrational, extreme fear or aversion to blood or needles affecting around 25% of people.
I will explain my experience with it the best I can but I can only use words. Unless you've experienced the feelings yourself, it may be hard to comprehend. The phobia took me to places I would never wish to go again, it was like going to hell.
I’m not sure exactly when it started, I imagine from childhood.
The last reaction was from a blood test not long before I was cured of my phobia.
I remember walking home as my GP is just up the road, luckily, I probably wouldn't have been safe to drive!
I thought I'm not sure any procedure is worth this reaction on my body.
It was like my body had been through a massive stress and I felt completely drained and emotionally down.
Years ago I used to have reactions even before the procedure. I somehow managed to get rid of that and can be quite calm before but still got the reaction during and after.
I feel like I almost faint.
It's this absolute terror and total panic.
I begin to shake and almost go unconscious.
I have fallen unconscious before but I learnt to stop myself as I got older, I would make sure I was lying down after a needle for example and not stand up till I felt able too.
I used to almost faint in secondary school at vaccines and get sent to the Nurse.
A Burgeoning Problem
I was once on holiday and cut my toe on glass in the sea.
It was about the only time I’d had to access any healthcare, as I’ve always been in really good health.
So I thought it was typical that I happened to be abroad and cost me a lot more then it would with our lovely NHS!
I hobbled to a pool to get it cleaned as my friend had advised there was a lot of blood.
I remember everyone telling me to move from where I was sitting to get out of the sun.
If I had moved, I would have fainted.
It was not the sun that was the issue but trying to clean the sand out of my bleeding toe that I couldn’t deal with!
A local Doctor was called.
I ended up speeding off on the back of his motorbike in my bikini to have my toe looked at!
I had to have antibiotics and I remember apologising to him.
He said he could tell I was having real difficulty dealing with it but that I was very polite with it.
This time, I actually didn’t faint but physically vomited, so I suppose there can be different reactions people can have.
I know one friend who starts heaving like she is going to vomit at the sight of a spider.I also had an interest in Chinese medicine and thought it would be interesting/relaxing to have acupuncture…
I can definitely say I did not have a relaxing experience!
A load of needles were placed in my back and then the Acupuncturist went next door.
I was fine for a few minutes, then found I was having to try and use meditation techniques to keep myself calm.
I carried on until I couldn't face it any longer and had to call him back in to take the needles out.
I obviously wouldn’t have gone if I felt this was going to happen, I didn’t think the needles would affect me as not piercing to draw blood.
This is the one time the phobia did affect my work and it wasn’t even anything that had happened at work!
I ended up feeling so ill after the acupuncture that I couldn’t go to work that afternoon.
People would tell me needles don't hurt, I know this, it wasn't about the pain, I was aware my reaction was completely irrational and I would do my best to ignore it.
In fact, I never let it stop me.
I had all the vaccines I was meant to and the three hepatitis b injections with a blood test required for Nursing, despite what happened.
I went to the desk in occupational health to make my next appointment after the vaccine.
I thought I felt ok but ended up with a second problem when I banged my head off the stairs as I fainted!
So, it nearly did stop me.
Deciding To Quit Nursing
I actually left my Nursing course when I was a student for about a week.
I had decided that I couldn't do the job with this issue and I didn’t see any way of getting over it.
I didn't understand much about the way the brain works compared to what I do now, I didn't realise that there are ways to get over it.
This is why I am writing this piece.
My thoughts were “how could I possibly do this job and assist with certain things when they make me have this extreme reaction?"
It wouldn’t be very professional and what about the pressures on my colleagues let alone what it did to me.
I remember having to assist Doctors with taking blood from children and I could hold their arm but just not look directly at the needle in their arm.
However, the last straw for me was during my surgical placement, It wasn’t just needles for me but gory, painful situations.
An incident occurred where a young girl was admitted.
She had to have her finger amputated after it had got caught in some machinery, she had the biggest bandage you’ve ever seen on her finger.
I remember getting more and more disturbed about seeing what was underneath with each layer of it being unwrapped and started to feel faint.
I had to leave the room when it was removed.
What Changed My Mind?
It was only because of my amazing personal tutor that I didn’t leave.
My mind was completely made up before I had a meeting with her.
She saw me in her office and convinced me that I could still be a Nurse with this issue, she highlighted all the other good points about me and even said if her children were in hospital, I would be the kind of Nurse she would want looking after them.
She said I would get over it, I still wasn't sure about that, but I knew I’d managed to get used to seeing people have blood tests done.
I decided to carry on and see how I got on.
By this point, I had already done around a year and a half of the course. Fortunately, giving needles wasn’t such an issue being a paediatric nurse, as children don’t tend to have many injections on a regular basis like adults.
Most things were given by IV, which I was ok with.
For diabetics, the insulin pens are not like needles.
However, my main concern was how I was supposed to give someone else a needle as part of my course.
It was a skill that needed to be achieved and signed off.
My personal tutor reassured me that it would be different giving a needle to receiving one.
She was correct, I managed to successfully give injections without any of the phobias coming up, this felt like a massive achievement.
When working on a ward, you have colleagues and a skill mix, which is reassuring.
Most Nurses are quite understanding and help each other out.
Obviously, when you choose a job you don’t want to choose something where you're going to be a burden on the other staff eg-vaccine nurse for example!
Although, like I said, giving injections wasn’t a big deal for me.
I managed to actually vaccinate most of the school I worked in at the time when swine flu came about.
About this contributor
Complex Care Nurse
I'm a Children’s Nurse and have worked for various companies. Currently I'm working for the NHS as a Complex care and Community IV Home Therapies Nurse. Prior to this I worked for a medical nutrition company for a number of years. I have experience within special schools, community settings, and bank work. I started out within a hospital setting on a Medical Ward and Neonatal Unit after qualifying in 2005.
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