Be Kind To Yourself
It’s normal to feel guilty or stressed about balancing your work and family responsibilities. Remember that you’re doing the best you can, and it’s okay to ask for help or take time for yourself when you need it.
What Is Parental Guilt?
Parental guilt is when a parent feels torn between their responsibilities as a parent and something else that is competing for their attention, in case this is work/your career. It’s important to remember that it’s quite common to feel like this, and it’s natural for you to want the best for your children.
Parental guilt can be caused by internal and external pressures.
Internal pressures are when parents have unrealistic expectations of themselves. Having a child is a fulltime job, so being a working parent is a considerable adjustment and a responsibility that no prior experience could prepare you for. I’m sure we all can agree parenting is just as unpredictable as nursing, and some days it can feel impossible to plan for.
External pressures are when there is external pressure to be the perfect parent. These are unrealistic and unattainable standards. These can come from social media or society. This pressure is further compounded by the pressure exerted by employers who expect the same level of work performance from employees, despite the intense stressors and challenges they face as parents.
The Impact Of Parental Guilt
There are many ways that parental guilt can impact you.
One way is by overcompensating. Often, parents may overcompensate with material or financial items. This can be seen as a form of tangible proof of their love, and as a way to make it up to their child/ children for not always being available.
Another way it can impact you is by feeling like failure. This could be a feeling of low self-worth and stress that can come from being unable to commit to and complete things the same way a nurse without children could.
Coping With Parental Guilt
Here are few ways you can cope with parental guilt
• Identify your triggers – this can help with avoiding stressful situations and to help avoid negative thoughts or judgement towards yourself.
• Reframe your thoughts- make a conscious effort to reframe your thoughts into positive ones. At times like this you can reframe your thoughts to “I am working to support my child” or “I am working toward being financially free so I can spend more time with my child in the future”. This is very personal, and it is important to remember why you are working and the benefits of this.
• Manage your expectations – You will not be able to have everything without burning out! There will always be constraints on your time and energy. Think about what is important to you and what you value. Accept the limits of what you can do and what you can do to help the situation.
• Avoid comparisons – In this day and age it’s almost impossible to avoid comparison as we’re all on social media, but you should remember that social media is not the actual reality of a situation. We never know what is happening behind the camera. Therefore, comparing your personal circumstance to anyone else’s is a fruitless exercise.
• Practice self-care – be kind to yourself, no-one is perfect. This can help better your mood, as self-care is vital for you to be the best version of yourself.
It’s Not About Being Perfect
In conclusion, managing work and family life as a nurse working shift work can be challenging, but it is possible with the right strategies and mindset.
Effective communication, self-care, wise use of time off, seeking support, and flexibility are all essential components of managing work and family life effectively. By incorporating these strategies into your daily routine, you can achieve a balance that works for you and your family.
Remember to be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate the demands of your career and family commitments. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about doing the best you can and enjoying the journey with your family.
If you'd like to see which nursing jobs can best fit around family life, you can read more about that here.
Thank you for reading.
About this contributor
Health Protection Practitioner
I’m Amira, I qualified as an Adult Nurse over a year ago and I have been working in theatres since qualifying. I am an adult trained nurse working in a paediatric hospital. I specialise in spines, trauma and orthopaedics. Outside of work I am a keen baker and fitness enthusiast.
More by this contributorWant to get involved in the discussion?
Log In Subscribe to comment